Drugs Depression – Anxiety

GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE MARCH 20, 1998

They Were the Best of Friends

It Was the Worst of Times

Pride and Solutions is the nation's leading provider of mental health and addictions treatment to the lesbian, gay and bisexual communities. We're also HIV/AIDS-related stress, depression and grief specialists.

From coast to coast, our centers offer a safe, personalized, professional and tranquil atmosphere to address the issues that effect your life.

Whether it's the company you keep, the behaviors you've struggled with or the overwhelming sense of helplessness we have the solutions.

Better times could be just a phone call away.

Call Us Today 1-800-DIAL-GAY 1-800-54-PRIDE

Medicare and

Most Insurance Accepted

PRIDE INSTITUTE

AT SOLUTIONS

Los Angeles

three facilities)

New York Area

Washington, D.C.

Now Open in Chicago

Pride Institute at Solutions

BIG TIPS

Must my life be run by a little scroll from 7-11?

by M.T. "the Big Tipper" Martone Sometimes, you just need to take a new look at an old problem. I'd carried over "Buy bookshelves" through about six months of To-Do lists, when I finally realized that I could eliminate that item by, rather than expanding my biblio-capacity, shrinking the book stacks. Pow! And ifI sold the books, I'd be generating funds, not further depleting my tumbleweedy wallet. Win/win.

So, I headed off to Tome Town to sell the kids, and was affirmed for my bookmarkusing, non-cover-curling, no-open-book-asa-coaster ways. I left with a few hundred dollars, and I hadn't even touched the A-list favorites on my shelves.

I recommend this purge to anyone with similar space problems. Even if you spend the money right there in the store (Shut up— I didn't spend it all) you end up with far fewer books, and a more focused collection.

Dear Big Tipper,

My girlfriend's a sexy, beautiful, intelligent woman with a good job in the insurance industry. As she leaves for work every day, brown hair shining in the morning light, I imagine myself to be the luckiest woman in the world.

Unfortunately, the first place she goes every morning is the 7-11, where my problem begins and ends. Is it the jelly donuts or the coffee I find fault with? No. The daily paper? The cigarettes? No and no. It's those damned horoscope scrolls they have next to the register. She buys them every month, and they are the bane of my existence.

My girlfriend says she thinks they're funny. She won't admit it, but the truth is she's really superstitious and she uses those stupid things to pick good days for everything, including for us to have sex. She won't actually refuse, but sometimes we'll be in bed kissing, and it seems like we're on the edge of sex, and she'll say that she just feels like it's not the most "opportune" day for us to be intimate. What?

When we have sex, it's almost always fabulous, but why should a 69¢ National Enquirer in a tiny tube direct my affairs? No Heaven at 7-11

Dear Stars in Her Thighs,

Go find a reputable astrologer and treat your sweetie to a good reading. And talk to the astrologer first, and tell her or him what's going on. Whether or not you believe in the star thing, your honey seems to, and maybe you can just tilt the info so that there are lots of auspicious days. Good luck.

Dear Big Tipper,

My boyfriend is very politically active. I can tell he thinks I'm mainstream verging on closeted for not doing that kind of activism, but I was in ACT UP for a few years, and it was okay, but I didn't feel very comfortable, and I don't know how much it accomplished.

I don't necessarily find his work naive, but I'm not sure how useful street activism is in the big picture. No matter whether it's useful or not, it's not what I want to be doing, but I want him to respect me. I don't miss the scene that ACT UP was, but I do miss the feeling of doing something.

Dear ACT ON,

I'm Here, I'm Queer, But I'm Used to It

The '80s can certainly go down as The Decade of Clubby Activism. While direct action groups affected national and local health policy, fought anti-gay violence and discrimination, and changed forever the level of GLBT visibility, their very success and energy made being an out activist a glorious, impassioned identity, and fed a lot of egos and filled a lot of clubs. Not bad things, but that sort of energy doesn't lend itself to long-term organizing and change.

Groups that model themselves directly on those sorts of groups will probably do a few actions, then fizzle: once again, not bad in the short term, but that M.O. chews up activists and spits them out.

Fear not, though. There are infinite opportunities to be an activist for the long term. There are no shortages of low key volunteer gigs, like work on literacy programs. Not as sexy as a die-in, but when folks can read, they have the tools to advocate for themselves and organize.

There are long term activist groups like the American Civil Liberties Union, that work on queer rights, racist discrimination, prisoners' rights, etc. The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force trains local activists to lobby on a statewide level. Check your phone book, or check the Resource Directory in the back of this newspaper under "Community Groups" and "National Organizations." The fire of change is long and slow, and needs constant tending. Get on in there.

For a limited time, everyone who sends a letter or e-mail question to Big Tips will receive a piece of Blessed Mother bric-a-brac: a key chain, a little statuette, perhaps a magnet. I am breaking up and dispersing a huge collection over the course of this year, and you are my latest recipients. For more information on "The Diaspora Project," contact me at M.T. Martone, c/o the Chronicle, P.O. Box 5426, Cleveland 44101, or fax to 216-631-1052, ar e-mail to martone@drizzle.com.

THE CLUB

1448 West 32nd Street Cleveland 216.961.2727

CLEVELAND NEW ORLEANS FT LAUDERDALE DALLAS INDIANAPOLIS HOUSTON ST LOUIS ORLANDO coming soon Columbus, Ohio and more!

SUSAN M. Weaver

ATTORNEY AT LAW

NEW LOCATION

is pleased to announce the opening of a satellite office in LAKEWOOD, OHIO (free parking, less hassle)

Now two locations to better serve you; THE WAREHOUSE DISTRICT, DOWNTOWN

LAKEWOOD NEAR MCKINLEY OFF 1-90

For an appointment at either location call (216) 621-7200

Visa & MasterCard Accepted